I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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