Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
