We're like a lot better than the average bears
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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