i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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