Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
there is another microwave in the elevator.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
