I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
