tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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