also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
then he tried to convert me to islam
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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