We need to rekindle our bromance
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
