Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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