Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
