maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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