Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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