Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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