His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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