just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
