Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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