we're blogging at a bar
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
