I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you will always have a special place in my vag
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
