took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
