: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
