when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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