playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im part way to drunk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
