Me too!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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