Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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