Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
