So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
