One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
