I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
