Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
