Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
