I wanna bring you to show and tell
This girl is more easily done than said...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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