I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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