I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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