Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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