Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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