but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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