I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he was CRYING into my vagina
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
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I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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