it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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