return my video game
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
