He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
