He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
