I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
