I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
