Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
