Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
