Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
