you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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