I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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