You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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