My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
