oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
