Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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