Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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