who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
