Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Redeem this text for a blowjob
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
