hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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