apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize