party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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