i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the day after is always just damage control
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
