drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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