Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
