she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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