I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize