WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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