my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
