They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
