im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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