This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
