Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
