I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
